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A nice friendly “hello” from a professional “greeter” as you enter the supermarket? In the Black Country? You must be joking reckons Lynn Hawthorne.

I went to ASDA on Saturday morning. I decided to go early to avoid the crowds and got rather more than I bargained for.

I was outside, turning to speak to my husband about the £1 for the trolley, when I received what could only be described as a shoulder charge.

“Sorry. Now, you put it back when you’ve finished….” I heard a voice say.

It was a ‘Greeter’ who was so enthusiastically explaining to a bemused woman about the trolleys that she didn’t look where she was going and bashed into me.

“Fine greeting!” I muttered.

“Well, I did say sorry,” she barked. So that makes it all right, then?

I have a spinal problem, which means that any hefty jolt stiffens up my spine and requires copious amounts of Ibuprofen, ice packs and even a return visit to the chiropractor to sort out. Boy, was I pleased.

While trying to straighten myself up, I took a good look at this would-be rugby player. She was, quite frankly, a woman old enough to know better. I’m sorry, but when I retire, I’m off! Stuff this working malarky.

And why was she explaining about how to use a trolley? We’ve had supermarkets of some form or another for 50 years, so surely we’ve got the hang of them now?

Then I started to consider the role of a greeter. What do they actually do? Why are they there? Do I need to be welcomed to the store?

Because ASDA is now owned by Americans, I suppose it’s one of their gimmicks, to make us feel ‘part of the family.’ I don’t want to feel part of the flaming family, I just want to do my food shopping as quickly and as painlessly as possible!

I’d much rather that person be put to be better use stocking up the shelves overnight instead of trying to run me over with a pallet truck when the store is populated with customers. Or checking that stock is not out-of-date or ‘off.’ Or clearing tables in the café. Or cleaning toilets.

Anything instead of slapping on a fake smile and asking if I need any help when I’ve only just entered the shop.

Nope! Get out of my face, leave me alone and, for goodness sake, look where you’re going!

Has anyone else had to deal with “greeters” at their local supermarket? Good idea or not? Leave a comment on the Miscellaneous section of the Message Board.

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