Birmingham,The Stirrer, Black Country

news that matters, campaigns that count

for Birmingham, the Black Country and beyond

Laurence Inman’s Blog



String him up? No hanging’s too good for him etc etc. Laurence Inman casts a quizzical eye over the conviction – and release – of Gary Glitter.

Everything I know about the Vietnamese legal system could be written on the back of a bus ticket.

Any opinions I may have are based solely on what I’ve seen on the telly from time to time, particularly jerky bits of VT showing people being hurried into court in handcuffs surrounded by shouting coppers and photographers, who are also allowed to shout and snap in the courtroom itself, while the case is supposed to be going on.

On the other hand, there judicial system must be perfect if it deals effectively with some old pop star whose music I hated. AND who has a silly pig-tail. AND a silly goatee. But most of all, he was found guilty of paedophilia, so he must have been guilty and no punishment would he horrible enough for him.

On the other, other hand....if the accused had been a sweet, innocent, sixteen-year-old, blonde girl (preferably a ‘simple’ Irish girl, like the ‘simple blue-eyed colleen’ who was given a bomb to take on a plane a few years ago,) who’d been done for drug-smuggling and who complained that they were all planted on her by her swarthy, rat-faced older boyfriend, well, that’s a different matter.

THEN it needs looking into by diplomats at the highest level and possibly the PM himself. THEN, it’s a primitive swamp of corruption, bribery and deliberate mis-translation.

If you’re accused of paedophilia, you must be guilty because no crime is worse than that. If you suggest that someone might be innocent, well you might be a paedophile yourself! Best shut up and leave thingy to rot in a cockroach-infested hell forever.

And that, despite the inconvenience of not knowing a single fact surrounding the case, is why I am perfectly satisfied that he (may his name be forever damned!) is surely guilty.

There should be a law against saying you like children, even your own. You should never breathe a hint of a possibility that you like seeing them around, or find them charming and funny, or that it cheers you to hear them messing around together, as children should. If you do, I think you should be tied to a lamp-post and painted red. Or paraded round a housing estate in Portsmouth.

We must create an atmosphere of mutual fear and mistrust, so that even if you see a child being harmed, you won’t dare to intervene. All children must feel that all adults are potential perverts and murderers, even if they’ve lost their way and have to try to run over a motorway to get home.

Hang on. We already have!

Well, it’s a bloody good thing then!

I am not prejudiced about anything. It’s just that I’ll believe any old toss if it’s wrapped up in the right words and everybody else believes it. And I think some things should never be discussed, or even thought about, in case others start to think we’ve got issues.

On another matter, did you see our show at the Olympic handover ? It was just as I predicted last week! A gang of rowdy scruffs jostled to get on a bus!

But it’s all going to be fine. We’ve got four years to condition ourselves to expect ‘a typically British understated Games.’

That’s media-speak for ‘cheap and makeshift.’

Just you watch it happen. ‘Modest. ‘Less brash.’ ‘More intimate.’ ‘On a human scale.’ I can’t wait to see how they strangle the language till our heads are straight on this vital matter.


The Stirrer Forum

The Stirrer home

valid xhtml

©2006 - 2009 The Stirrer